Abuse from the Masseuse
I was 2 hours away from clocking off work and road tripping to Galena, Illinois. After the last few stressful months on the job, a girls spa weekend was exactly what I needed. When the clock struck four I nearly ran for the door. I drove to pick up my girls Tanya and Patrice and off we went.
Our three hour ride was filled with girl talk, laughter and music. This was truly a life is good moment. We checked into the beautiful hotel that would not only house us for the weekend, but also provide the spa treatments we’d scheduled.
“Dana, this was a great idea.” Tanya tells me as we entered our room. Tall and willowy, she wore her designer knock off jumper with flare.
“Girl yaas, I needed this,” Patrice claimed the bed nearest the window by setting her designer bag on it. At 5 ft 2 she was the shortest of our little group, but with her bright yellow dress and the mouth on her, she was also the loudest. “Now, hurry up ladies so we can make our dinner reservations.”
We made our dinner reservations and enjoyed a good meal. We decided not to stay up too late as we all had early mani-pedi appointments. Each of us had scheduled different spa treatments afterwards, but would meet up for lunch. The next morning things went as planned and we all received top of the line mani-pedis. We parted ways and headed off to our individual treatments. That’s when things became really interesting.
I arrived for my massage full of anticipation. I’d only had a massage once before and had remembered it as being utterly relaxing. Unfortunately, I didn’t remember the name of the type of massage it was, so I booked the deep tissue massage.
While laying on the massage table covered by a blanket, I drifted in and out of a light sleep as I waited for the masseuse. When I heard the door open and closed I turned my head and opened one eye. “You wanna deep tissue massage?” The tiny Asian lady asked me with a sweet smile.
“Yes I do?” I said smiling back.
“No worries, I take good care of you.” She said gently lifting the blanket and folding it over my lower back. I closed my eyes in sweet anticipation. They popped open a few seconds later as she dug into my back like she was trying to remove my kidneys. “You very, very tight,” she said tearing into and beating my muscles like they’d insulted her.
Through clenched teeth I asked, “Can you ease up a bit?” Cringing as she tussled with my calves. I don’t know if she heard me or not because the assault continued for forty more long and torturous minutes. Once I was done I couldn’t get out of that room fast enough.
We’d all planned to meet in the room after our spa services so I headed back. Despite the abuse from the masseuse, my body was starting to feel relaxed and limber. When I entered the room I heard someone in the bathroom, “Tanya? Is that you?” Her facial was the shortest of all our services so I figured it must be her.
She opened the door looking pissed, “You tell me?” She said walking over to me so I get a good look at her red, scratched up cheeks.
“What happened to you?” I reached up to touch her cheek, but stopped when she flinched before I made contact.
“The relaxing facial scrub is what happened. Nearly took all the skin off my damn face.”
“Why is your cheeks shiny, is that vaseline?” While I took a beating, Tanya looked like she’d been in a cat fight and landed on the wrong end of the claws.
“They were nice enough to give me some antibiotic cream after they tore my face up.” Dana walked over to a bed and flopped down. “How was your massage?”
“Painful, don’t ever get a deep tissue massage unless you are into being beaten within an inch of your life. The aftermath is good, but the journey was nothing nice.” I laid across the other bed facing Tanya. “I wonder how Patrice’s treatment is going?”
“Since nothing bad ever happens to her, my guess is she is thoroughly enjoying herself.” Tanya stood and walked over to the mirror to check her face again. We heard a key insert and the door unlock. Patrice entered the room and both Tanya and I said, “What the hell happened to you?”
Patrice was covered in angry hives on her arms, chest and neck. “Apparently I’m allergic to something in the body wrap. I am itching in places that if I scratch would embarrass us all.” She gingerly walked over to her travel bag and started packing. “I know we are supposed to stay another night, but all I want to do is go home, take some Benadryl and scratch without offending anyone.”
An hour later we were checked out and back on the road. The ride home wasn’t nearly as fun as the ride there. I pulled up in front of Patrice’s condo building. Before she climbed out the back seat she said, “Just so you know I forgive you both for laughing at me.” Slowly she extracted herself and grabbed her bag.
“Patrice we haven’t laughed at you.” I spoke to her through the opened back door.
“Umm hmm,” she said, closing the door before starting a careful, wide legged waddle up the pathway to the front of her building. Tanya and I sat quietly trying to keep it together, but the look on the doorman’s face when he saw her approaching, caused us both to giggle just a bit. It was the bird she flipped us without looking back that sent us over the edge and laughter filled the car.
“Ouch,” Tanya said grabbing her cheeks. “Talk about a girl weekend gone wrong.” We looked at each other and burst into another round of laughter. I drove off grateful that all I had to endure was the abuse from the masseuse. I now knew things could have been so much worse.
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