Forgive for Joy's Sake (Prologue)

I know it seems a bit odd that I'm talking to you when Jackson, my husband is in the midst of ranting and raving at me. It may seem even a bit crazy, but the truth of the matter is this scene that he and I are in right now is so cliche. Well maybe not the scene, but the scenario that got us here.

In a nutshell, he cheated, got another woman pregnant, and he got caught. I could have told you that story in detail, but you've probably heard it many times before. I will tell you… Hold on a minute, he keeps calling my name and asking me if I'm listening.

"Yeah, I'm listening," I tell him, but the hell if I am. Okay, as I was saying, I will tell you that there was a moment between him apologizing and his laying the blame for his infidelity at my feet that I almost lost my mind and picked up the blame. In that moment, I thought maybe he's right; maybe I hadn't been attentive enough. Maybe I have let myself go. Maybe I should give him another chance. I know, I know what the hell is wrong with me, right? I tell you, in that moment I became mad at myself and forgot all about his foolishness. Even now he is venting about how I made him feel by not doing this or that, but no matter, because once he gets done, he can make his way to the door. Wait… He just said a name that I know doesn't belong in this conversation.

"What did you just say?" I look at him and hope to the sky and back that he hadn't said what I thought I heard him say.

"Joy, I knew you weren't listening.  I said, Melanie and I never intended for this to happen."

"Melanie, my Mel?" I can’t believe my ears. He has taken this to an entirely new level. Mel is my best friend, my sister from another mister, my ride or die girl.  She is the last person on earth who would hurt me.

"Well, I guess she's more my Melanie now. Look, before you fly off the handle, let me say, we are both sorry and we never meant to hurt you."  He's in sorry mode again and rushes over to me and takes both my hands in his. His brown eyes are filled with remorse as he looks into mine. Up until that last announcement, my heart was only bruised, but the moment he admitted to cheating with Mel my heart completely broke.

"Where is she now?" I pull my hands out of his and step away from him.

"At home I guess. We agreed that I'd be the one to tell you. She didn't think she could face you." He tries to step closer to me again, and again I step away.

"Are you two in love? Are you asking me for a divorce?" I want to cut to the chase and end this conversation.

"Yes, and yes. Look Joy, I wish things could have played out differently. I wish you could have been more attentive to my needs so that—"

"Shut the hell up. If you go on another rant and rave about what I didn't do or how part of this is my fault, I will not be responsible for my actions. I suggest you leave now, and I do mean right now. From this point on we will only communicate through lawyers. You tell that backstabber to stay as far away from me as possible. Do not text, call, or contact me. Now like I said go and go now."  I walk through the kitchen where we are talking, through the living room, and to the front door. 

He follows slowly. He opens his mouth to speak as I open the front door. I put up my hand. "Not another word. I'll send your things over to Mel's." He steps outside and I shut the door behind him. 

Seven wasted years with that man, and a wasted bond formed with Mel in kindergarten. The tears come immediately after I lock the door. While my mind wraps around the fact that Jackson has cheated on me, it can’t wrap around Mel's betrayal. In all the years I've known her, she has always been a kind, loving person.  I thought about the past year and her sporadic behavior. Was this the reason she had been acting so off kilter? Had all the recent mood swings and impulsive strange behavior been because she didn't know how to handle her betrayal? I had been trying to get her to tell me what was going on with her for months.  Now I know.

I walk away from the front door and look around the place that Jackson and I spent the last four years making into our home.  As far as I could tell, our marriage had been decent. We got along okay, shared some of the same interest and goals. It wasn't a great love story, but we both knew that when we went into the marriage. We both thought we were compatible enough and attracted to each other enough to make a marriage work.  Two sensible people building a life together, I guess we never accounted for one of us cheating and falling in love with another person. I sat down on the couch in the living room, feeling suddenly tired. "Now what?"

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